Don't you wish that you could have a life?
Is your rabbi telling you that having a life is against the torah?
Is your religious extremist wife threatening you with divorce if you try to get a life?
What you need my friend, is the MegaLife Pro 5000 new from GNC.
it will
- make you dress in colored clothing instead of black and white
- give you the balls to eat nonkosher food
- make your religious extremist wife agree to have sex with you outside of procreation AND enjoy it.
Well what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone today and call 1-800-GET-A-LIFE.
Testimonials:
"I used to be a fat slob my wife would want a separate bed and say it's for modesty. Now I work out I have big biceps and I sleep in the same bed with my wife thanks to MegaLife." - Yaakov
"I used to get beat up on by the goyim in the neighborhood but thanks to MegaLife they are all afraid of me. It's like being a black belt in karate without the blackbelt." - Yitzchak
"I used to be a kollel bum but thanks to MegaLife I went to work and now pull in houndreds of Gs a year and I can ride around in this Lexus." - Yosef
The results speak for themselves, get your bottle of MegaLife today!
The number is 1-800-GET-A-LIFE
But wait, there's more.
Are you a gadol?
Don't you want to just die when it's time to go?
Does the thought of your minions keeping you alive in an old and senile state just so you can rubberstamp stuff scare the shit out of you?
MegeLife Pro now comes with a free CYANIDE PILL. You should take it like when you're in your 80s or 90s and you are starting to lose it. Let life go on your own terms instead of letting your followers make a puppet show out of you.
Get your bottle of MegaLife Pro and if you are a gadol get free cyanide pill to go with it. It will do some sick shit on your body before it kills ya.
Call 1-800-GET-A-LIFE.
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