Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Garnel Ironheart

Garnel (http://www.garnelironheart.blogspot.com/) is an orthodox rabbi who is secretly wishing he could be an atheist except that he is afraid of his wife. Luckly for Garnel, everyone's favorite internet rosh yeshiva, SJ, is also a family clinical psychologist. XD

After giving it much thought, Rosh Yeshiva Dr. SJ came to the following conclusions as to what Garnel should do to facilitate a smooth coming out of the atheist closet.

Garnel should take his wife to a fancy restaurant and order a hamburger. Then when they both get their food, Garnel should put some cheese on it and be like, "bitch, this is the way it's gonna be."

Garnel should be sure to have his right elbow touching the table with his hands unclenched and right arm and right hand pointing upward.

Then Garnel should proceed to tell Mrs. Garnel that he's an atheist. If she's cool about it, then Garnel should say "wooooooooooooooooord," and they should proceed to have their meal and then have sex when they get home.

If Mrs. Garnel proceeds to be a bitch, then Garnel should realize that the worst that will happen to him is that he will be single and free again. In which case, Garnel has several options to what he can say.

Option 1) "Fuck off bitch."

Option 2) "Bitch, I'm gone."

Option 3) "Asta la vista baby. Fucking bitch."

For extra emphasis, Garnel can add an extra "bitch" at the end.

Garnel, it is important to realize that you do have the strength to stand up to your wife and say the truth of the matter. You can do it!


jewish philosopher said...

This "telling the wife" idea seems pretty risky.

Remember Rich http://frustratedorthojew.blogspot.com/

He told his wife three months ago and disappeared without a trace.

SJ said...

LOL JP omg you said something funny. XD

Shalmo said...

Check out this post where I make Garnel go completely crazy. Even David defended me: