Saturday, April 23, 2011

Participate In The Jewish Fighting Championships

You have heard of the UFC. You have heard of KFC. You have even heard of STDs. Now get ready for a new entry into the alphabet soup of abbreviations, brought to you by the Orthodox Union, it's the Jewish Fighting Championships, the latest in mixed martial arts entertainment.

The disciplines that will be displayed in this new fight promotion will not be the ordinary muay thai, ju jitsu, boxing etc.; but something totally different and totally jewish.

The disciplines of the fighters who will step into the ring of the Jewish Fighting Championships will be accountants, lawyers, doctors, bankers, geeks and nerds of all different backgrounds.

There will be lawyers fighting bankers. Can the banker keep the money from the lawyer? Watch and find out!

We will have doctors fighting auctuaries. Will the doctor use a surgical tool on the aucturary's neck before he bores the doctor to death with some statistical bull shit?

Someone asked a representative of the JFC if jewish born christians will be allowed to fight. The representative answered "Yes, jewish born christians will be allowed to fight but will not be allowed to throw any punches or kicks."

Some of the jewish born christians in the crowd got confused and upset and pressed the JFC representative further on the issue. The JFC representative answered, "well, it's Shmarya's rule that jewish born christians can't punch or kick in the fights. Yes, we know, Shmarya can be an asshole like that."

The first fight will be a brain surgeon versus a boring math professor. Stay tuned!

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